Knots
by samandfreddie38
Summary: Beck and Jade's Relationship Advice #3...with a little twist. Jade&Beck one-shot.


**I think it's impossible to tell you guys how much I love this pairing. Dan is making a HUGE mistake by breaking these two up on Saturday. I'm still debating whether I'm going to continue watching the show as is, but I know FOR SURE that I won't watch it anymore if Beck and Tori ever get together. (shivers) I think I threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about it.**

**TWITTER-STALK DAN SCHNEIDER! If I had a Twitter account, I would, but the entire world of things good and pure and Bade are counting on you Twitter peepulz! Let him know that BADE WILL ALWAYS BE ENDGAME!**

**This is only my second Jade&Beck one-shot, so I don't have a lot of practice writing with these two yet. I hope you like it anyway! It's like a Beck and Jade's Relationship Advice #3. Enjoy 'Knots' and PLEASE R&R!**

**This one-shot is in honor of BADEWEEK.**

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><p><em>Beep.<em>

The dark-haired tempest carelessly tosses the remote to the side and consciously leans back against a half-amused half-annoyed brunette boy sprawled on the couch. He's holding a black brush, its teeth caressing the long locks of her hair. The smell of lilac escapes from the strands, permeates his nostrils, and envelopes his world in a smooth bed of serenity.

"Hi," she snaps at the camera.

His tone is more carefree. "Hey there."

"You know who we are," she bluntly states as he continues to brush her hair. "And if you don't, I suggest you go jump off a cliff or run across the middle of the freeway or-"

"Babe," he cuts her off. The hand not holding the brush comes up to the side of her leg, and he gives her thigh a small squeeze. She cocks her head to the right a little, one of her signature gestures of approval and pleasure.

"So Beck here," she pauses for a moment, a slight smirk appearing on her lips. "…my _boyfriend_, by the way," she can't help but add, "is brushing my hair to make up for the mess his noogies made last time."

"Aw, come on," he teases. "You know you liked it."

She snorts. "Right."

"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?"

"Oh, not at _all_."

A brief moment of silence reigns. "So anyway…" the Canadian-born boy begins.

"People here on TheSlap post questions on our pages about their relationship problems," the girl says.

Carefully disentangling a knot with the brush, he builds off of her sentence. "And we choose ones that we want to-"

"If they don't know how this works by now, they need to try out my cliff or freeway idea," she interrupts.

He sighs. "You're the one that started explaining it, you know."

"Oh, so now you're blaming me?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you always trying to pick a fight? Does my anger bring you happiness?"

He stops brushing, puts the object on the couch beside them, and leans forward so that his lips are inches from her left ear. "Babe, relax," he whispers, letting his hot breath work its magic on his feisty girlfriend. The space between her ears and shoulders immediately increases a bit, and he grins when he feels the slight shiver that runs up her spine. His chin lands on her shoulder. "We good?"

She purses her lips. "Yes."

He kisses the skin just below her left ear and leans back against the couch. "So where were we?"

"Don't stop brushing," she demands.

He rolls his eyes and picks up the dark brush again. "So Jade and I picked out a few questions we thought were interesting."

"Just so we're clear, I couldn't care less about all your problems," she grumbles at the camera and inspects the black polish on her fingernails.

The boy sighs. "Really?"

"What?" she snaps.

"Before I say anything else, I'm not trying to fight with-"

She turns her head to glare at him. "Uh-huh."

"You don't believe me?"

"No."

He tosses the brush aside once more, gently but firmly cups her chin, and kisses her. Hard.

They break apart after a few timeless seconds, and one corner of her mouth is curved upward ever so slightly. "Hmm," is her response. She turns back to the camera and raises her eyebrows as if to say, "You see that, girls? Off-limits."

"Do you think we'll actually get to the questions this time?" she asks. He laughs.

"Probably not." He gives his girlfriend a smirk. "But our viewers should know the drill by now. If they're still expecting any relationship advice from us, they should jump off a cliff or run across a freeway or something."

Her heart gives a little kick at her chest, and she comes to a sudden realization. She's never really told him.

She leans over, grabs the remote, points it in the camera's direction, and pushes the button, oblivious to the fact that the red recording light is still on.

"What are you doing?" he asks her.

She won't make eye contact as she swivels around in his lap. After a few seconds of eyes shifting and mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out of it, she mumbles the three words.

"What?"

"Ilrmphyew."

"Huh?"

"God, Beck!" she shouts out in exasperation. Her voice lowers a ton, and she practically whispers it. "I love you."

He blinks, not sure if he heard her right. But watching her embarrassed reaction to his silence confirms any doubts. He smiles.

"D'awww…she wuvs me!" He nudges her shoulder and gives her side a slight pinch.

"Shut up."

"Jadey wuvs me!"

"I told you _never_ to call me that."

"She has a wittle - uh, the light."

"Huh?"

He starts laughing. "The light's still on." He motions toward the camera.

"Shoot!" she yells, leaping out of his hold and reaching for the remote. He immediately springs into action and grabs her waist. They tumble to the floor.

"Beck! Let-", grunt, "-go!"

But he doesn't and continues to laugh. "I am _so_ posting this."

"You are _NOT_!" she screams, trying to pry his fingers off of her. "I'll run you over with a bus! I'll cut you open with my special scissors! I'll…I'll…"

"Or maybe you'll make me jump off a cliff or run across-"

"_DUDE!"_

He starts laughing all over again, rolling her over on the ground and pinning her down. All the while, she's grunting and kicking and thrashing her limbs in every which way, but to no avail. "Jade, I'm posting this."

"No!"

"It's funny!"

"NO!"

"Aw, come on!"

She stops struggling for a moment. "Only if you do something for me first."

He eyes her warily. "What?"

She just gives him a smirk. No words. No instructions. Just that smirk. And that smirk must be contagious, because one forms on his lips too. He leans over, grabs the remote, and points it at the camera.

Everyone watching the video knows what happened next.

_Beep._

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><p><strong>It wasn't too bad, was it? Did 'yall like? Please let me know! Grammar corrections or whatever are always welcome too.<strong>

**Okay, I know they filmed "The Gorilla Club" after "The Worst Couple," but COME ON. Beck was SO OOC, randomly protective of Tori and completely ignoring Jade. Season One was filled with Jade&Beck moments and Cat randomness that was actually funny, but Season Two lacked both. If the writers randomly make Beck and Tori a couple, it just won't make any SENSE, besides the fact that it'll be completely DISGUSTING. Does anyone know what I'm saying or am I just randomly venting?**

**** TO MY EXIT WOUNDS PEEPS: I will be posting Chapter 26 this Saturday (FOR REAL THIS TIME). An explanation for my MIA-ness will be included in the AN. Thanks SO much for your patience.**


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